My name is Jessica, I am the mother of 3 beautiful girls, a 16 year old and 10 year old twins. This blog is about the youngest of my twins. Let's go back 10 years ago... In the summer of 2005 I find out I am pregnant which was a surprise as my husband and I were not planning on more children. Within 4 months into my pregnancy I find out the most, what was for me, shocking news...I'm pregnant but with twins. I am sister to twin brothers so in my family I grew up with my parents always telling me that twins skip a generation. I always thought...oh that's not happening to me, maybe my kids but not me. If anything my brothers because they are twins. That was the biggest MYTH out there. While the news was shocking and I admit it took me a few weeks to sink in my head, I was thrill and happy to be the mother of twins.
On my following appointment, I got another sonogram. Being pregnant with twins puts you immediately at high risk therefore you get several sonogram a month. So my next sonogram was soon after. On this appointment I find horrific news, my twin girls are in danger. They tell me I have TTTS, Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. I had no clue what that was, all I knew was that the most heartless doctor told me my babies were in jeopardy and their survival chance was none. She clearly said to me, the babies may not make it and that she recommended an abortion and since I was going through it I might as well take the other baby out because with the abortion she was not going to survive the procedure. My ears couldn't believe what this doctor was telling me. The tears were instant and couldn't breath. I stormed out of the sonogram room and walked as fast as I could out of the hospital to catch my breath, my husband following me. After I calmed a bit I went back in and only one nurse stopped me and told me not to worry about it and to trust in God but I admit that in my desperation I heard her but I couldn't believe what she was saying to me. How can someone tell a mother who can feel her babies in her belly that she has to abort them. It was heart broken but I wasn't going to take that and after a brief talk with my husband he and I decided to get a second opinion. For our next sonogram I was given the head doctor of the obstetric department. This doctor was gentle and amazing. He kindly explained what TTTS was and how to go about it. He recommended me to bed rest until my schedule C-Section.
During the next 4 months I watched my diet, I did limited walking, I did my Christmas shopping and any other sitting on a wheel chair. I made sure I did my part to help my babies. TTTS kept progressing but never to the point of alarm. Around my 8th month I went to my usual appointment but while sitting in the comfortable recliner and the babies heart was being monitor the doctor got alarmed and told me that baby B's heart beat could not be found. Immediately I was sent into an emergency C-Section. I was at a loss and very scared. I had no idea what was coming towards us. But within 30 minutes I was already changing my clothes and being prepared to be taken into the OR. I remember that there was this particular doctor that while he wasn't my doctor he took an interest in me and my pregnancy. I was seen by different doctors during my pregnancy but this one doctor had his chance I believe once, most twice then I never saw him again, until the day of the C-Section. Mind you, this was an emergency and not planned anymore so how did he know I was there, I don't know but he was there. He came to me held my hand and told me that everything was going to be alright and that unfortunately he was not going to be the one performing the C-Section but that he will be assisting the physician. I was pleased with that. He made me feel very at ease. Once I'm all prepared in bed he goes and asked me if I had any special request for him before I was taken in. I told him I did and said "Please tell the doctor doing my cesarean that I don't want to be announced when I am being cut open. To check if I am completely numb but not to tell me because knowing me I will feel that cut" he smiled and told me my wish was granted. Soon after, by the nurse, I was guided and walked myself into the operating room and it was the most cold, creepy and sterile place I've ever seen. But I walked in confident. I was sit up, pillow in between my hands and ready for my spinal anesthesia and let me tell you that it works instantly. They waited a few minutes and just as the doctor promised, I was never told when I was being cut open and everything went well when it came to me. At 8:30 pm and 8:31pm my babies we born. Baby A was 3 lbs 2oz and baby B was 2 lbs and 3oz. When it came to the twins, I don't remember hearing them cry once they were out. I didn't get the full experience moms usually get by having the opportunity to look at their babies before they take them. My babies were taken away immediately and I didn't get to see them. Later on I find out by someone that baby B was born without a heart beat. I can't remember much because while laying down and being cleaned out, I was given something through my IV that made me incredibly sleepy and by then I was in and out of consciousness. For those of you that don't know me, I have a very weak body and anything puts me to sleep and I mean ANYTHING. I currently suffer from Vertigo, at times and even a Anti-vert medication, just one pill will knock me out for at least 2 days. So back to my babies...after my C-Section I was taken to this room in where they had the babies, again, I was in and out and I remember this very vague in my mind. Later on that night my husband had gotten to see the girls and all I was brought was a picture of each of my babies. That's how I met them for the first time.
Baby A- Bethlisa
Baby B- Destinee
That I remember, I didn't get to see them until 2 days after or a day and a half. I do remember the day I was finally being wheeled in to the NICU to meet my babies. They were both inside an incubator and my first reaction was to see how incredibly tiny they were. I didn't even know if I could touch them from how fragile they looked. My husband had already fed Baby A and even though Baby B had a feeding tube, he was given the chance to feed her as well. I got to hold my babies for the first time and for the first time since they were born I was complete. Now, to not make this post so long as it already is, I will end with this...I left the hospital after 4 days in it but without babies on hand. Baby A stayed in the hospital for another week, while Baby B stayed in the hospital for almost a month. I cried when I left them behind and bringing them home was my happiest day. Our lives ever since they were born has never been the same and they journey was only beginning.
I will continue to share stories about the girls while I update everyone on Destinee's current journey.
God bless everyone!
-Jessica
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