Day of Surgery...

May 4, 2016

Day of surgery.


Waking up at 4:45am, getting ready to head out to be at the hospital by 6am. I have to say that regardless of how anxious and nervous everyone was, we managed to get a good amount of rest. This is the most awaited day in years now, the day my little girl starts to get her Scoliosis fixed. We arrived at the hospital just in time, checked in and waited to be called in. Now, I am not afraid to admit that my anxiousness and worries can really get to me. I just couldn't sit in that waiting room to get called him so I told my husband that I was going to let him take her in and I was going to do my waiting at the hospital chapel. I know, coward of me, I am her mother and should be there for her, but years back when she had her first surgery they had me carry her inside the operating room and place her myself on the bed. I whispered in her ear that everything was going to be ok and mama was with her, all the while they put a mask on her face and by the count of 2 she was out. The way she got torn me apart that after that I was unable to do it again. So every time she gets to be put asleep I ask someone else to do it for me because I just can't handle seeing her like that. Wednesday came and I did it again. My husband sent me a picture of when she was being prepped and they also gave her "sleepy juice" so that putting the IV and getting her in wouldn't be so bad and traumatizing for her.

Prepping her for surgery

I went to the chapel in company of Destinee's twin and my time inside felt like forever. To my surprise surgery only took about 10 to 15 minutes. I get a message from my husband that she was almost done. The hospital has an app that gives you all that info (got to love technology) I head back with my daughter. The doctor came to us and he was pleased with everything. He said that it's going to be long and an adjustment process but he seem confident.The halo tractions were easy to put in and there were no complications, thank the Lord. It actually took longer to wait for her to wake up. We waited between 45 minutes to an hour. After the time of her waking up passed, we were taken through these double doors to see her come out as if you would be waiting for a loved one arriving at the airport, except it was my baby coming out in this large bed, for her tiny body, and her halo vest, among all the cables that surrounded her.

I won't lie it was very impressive seeing my little girl this way. No mother wants to see their child in any kind of way that's hurting them and I wanted to take her place. Even now as I type I can't contain my tears. But, I know this is for her well being and I'm trying to use that to carry me through. After she was given a room and was all set up I see her twin sister exit the room, I go after her. She held her tears until exiting the room so her sister wouldn't see her that way. She couldn't handle seeing Destinee kind of way, understandable. To us, as much as it hurts to see her that way, we know it is for her well being, but for her sister it was torture what they were doing to her other half. Luckily, the sweet counselor lady of the floor realized what was happening and they took Beth for a hospital tour while they explained to her what was happening to Destinee. They gave her teddy bears for her and other to give as gifts to Destinee. They sat her down at the nurses station and had her make some drawings to decorate Destinee's room door.

Still today my Baby A has not been able to go back into the room and see her sister. The impression was big enough but we're hoping with some counseling she can over come this and be able to visit her sister again.

Within a few hours we get word that they are changing Destinee to a different floor. We were, in a way, happy about this because the room we had was very tiny for an extended stay. The new room given to us was definitely more spacious with a bigger bathroom and room for a bed for my husband or I to sleep over. Her first night here was not good at all...obviously. She didn't sleep through the night at all. I'm sure not being in her own bed is one of them, the feeding tube was another, something she can't get used to, then the other one was that she woke up several times making sure she wasn't left alone. I can only hope better nights will come.

Blessings,

Jessica